photobiography (1)

posted on 10 Jun 2012 15:57 by kaekaekaekae in Photos directory Diary, Idea
 
ที่บ้านเลี้ยงหมาตัวหนึ่ง.
 
มันอายุเท่าไรไม่รู้, ที่แน่ ๆ แม่เปลี่ยนรถใช้ไปสามคันแล้ว แต่หมามันก็ยังอยู่
 
ยังไม่ได้นับว่า ก่อนหน้านี้ มันเคยเป็นหมาคนอื่นมาก่อน.
 
 
 
ไม่รู้คิดอะไร, อยู่ดี ๆ แม่กับเพื่อนแม่ก็แลกหมาที่เลี้ยงกัน.
 
แล้วเจ้าตัวนี้ก็มาอยู่ที่บ้าน
 
ผมเองไม่ถนัดเรื่องเลี้ยงสัตว์เลย ไม่คิดว่าจะสามารถดูแลมันได้.
 
มันอาจจะรับรู้ได้ถึงความจริงข้อนี้ก็เป็นได้, อยู่บ้านเดียวกันแท้ ๆ มันก็เห่าใส่ผมบ่อยครั้ง
 
แล้วก็เป็นหมาห้าว, ตัวเท่าเห็บแต่ก็เห่าเสียงดังไปทั่ว.
 
มีครั้งนึงที่โดนมันกัด, แต่ก็นะ เขี้ยวมันเล็กเกินจนไม่รู้สึกอะไร (แล้วก็ไปเยาะเย้ยมันว่า เป็นหมาที่อ่อนมากแก ฮ่าๆ)
 
 
 
ทุกเช้า, เรามักจะต้องเหยียบกับระเบิดของมันเสมอ ทั้งที่มันก็เป็นจุดเดิม
 
แม่ก็จะต้องโวยวาย ซ้ำแล้วซ้ำอีก.
 
หรือเวลาใครเดินผ่านบ้าน ก็จะโดนมันเห่า, ไม่เว้นแม้แต่ผมเอง
 
เป็นเรื่องซ้ำซ้ำ, แทบทุกวัน
 
 
 
จะว่าไป, เรื่องราวที่ต้องพบเจอในชีวิตมันก็เป็นเรื่องซ้ำ ๆ
 
อาจเปลี่ยนคน เปลี่ยนสถานที่ บรรยากาศ, แต่เรื่องราวก็คล้ายที่เคยเจอมา
 
แล้วบางเรื่อง เคยเศร้ากับมันยังไง พอเกิดขึ้นอีกก็ยังเศร้าอยู่อย่างนั้น
 
เราคงไม่สามารถควบคุมความรู้สึกได้ คืออยากให้ดีใจมากกว่านี้ หรือเสียใจน้อยกว่านี้น่ะ แต่ก็ทำไม่ได้ เรารู้สึกได้เท่าที่เรารู้สึก
 
กับความสุขมันก็คงคล้ายกัน ตอนทำงาน ตอนไปเที่ยว มันก็ยังคงสนุก มีความสุข
 
เหมือนที่เคยเป็น, เหมือนความสุขที่เคยรู้สึก
 
 
 
แม่อายุ 50 แล้ว.
 
ฟันหายไปสามซี่, ตีนกาก็เพิ่มขึ้น
 
ก็เหมือนอีกหลายชีวิต, เหมือนที่คนวัย 50 อีกหลายคนต้องพบเจอ
 
โลกนี้มันมีเรื่องราวซ้ำ ๆ
 
สักวันหมาตัวนี้ก็ต้องตาย.
 
แต่อย่างน้อย, เราก็มีรูปนี้ ที่ยืนยันถึงการมีอยู่ของมัน
 
รวมถึงช่วยย้ำเตือน.
 
หากสักวันหนึ่ง, เราได้หลงลืมมันไป.
 
 
 
ตอนนี้ผมก็หวังแค่ว่า ในวันที่มีความทุกข์
 
ผมคงจะไม่ลืมความสุขที่เคยมี.

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